It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

I originally wrote this during my 31 Days of Self-Love series after going through a heartbreaking experience in 2018. That year was a rough and dark time for me. Some days, I felt as though I was on autopilot, barely getting through.

Recently, I lost a friend unexpectedly, and it completely broke me. It felt like 2018 all over again. Writing is my best therapy when I’m feeling overwhelmed and broken. But I also want others to know they are not alone.

I’ve shared before that, growing up, sharing that you’re having a hard time wasn’t accepted. That’s why so many people suffer in silence or don’t ask for help. Expressing that things are hard and that you’re not OK is oftentimes seen as a sign of weakness.

For the next few days, I’ll be resharing some of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts. I want to remind anyone reading this: You’re not alone.

Originally: It’s Ok To Not Be Ok. 2018

We often wear so many hats that we sometimes get lost in the process.

For the past few months, I’ve struggled to find my center—my balance.

So many changes have taken place in my life, and instead of facing them head-on, I buried myself in work. Underneath the weight of it all, I lost myself.

I forgot about self-care and slowly slipped into a state of depression.

It isn’t easy to admit. Many people perceive depression as someone who’s “not functional,” but depression is a silent killer, especially when we don’t recognize it for what it is.

It became harder and harder to get out of bed, interact with others, and pretend I was okay. There were moments when I cried uncontrollably because the weight of my emotions made me feel like I was drowning.

My mind slipped into autopilot—I was going through my days without actually living them.

Change is hard. Even though I know everything happens for a reason, that knowledge doesn’t make it any easier to accept.

I’m finally at a point where I can share and talk about it because I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

I’m so grateful for my village—the people who let me vent, cry, scream, cuss, and fall apart while holding me together.

It’s important to surround yourself with people who truly have your back. You don’t need many. Just one.

• Someone who is your confidant.
• Someone with whom you share a bond.
• Someone you trust and love unconditionally, and who feels the same way about you.

“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”
― Stephen Fry