What Does Self-Love Mean to You?

I’m starting to feel a much clearer headspace. Although I still have sad moments, I’m no longer bound to my bed. Today, I decided to go for a walk and just take in my surroundings. I haven’t really been outside since the funeral. I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I think it’s fitting to repost Day 14: What Does Self-Love Mean to You?

Here’s my original post:

Day 14: What Does Self-Love Mean to You?

Growing up, I thought if I focused on myself and did things that made me happy, I was selfish.

We were raised to think about others first, and like I said in one of my previous posts, it’s great to be considerate of others and want to take care of them. But if you don’t take care of yourself first, how can you properly care for or love others?

In my first post, “Are you happy?” is a question I asked myself multiple times because I care about people A LOT. I often put others before myself and did things that made them happy, even if it meant I wasn’t. I think as a young adult, especially as a teen, you feel as though that’s what love is.

But what does love mean to you?

What does it mean to love yourself?

In our world today, I feel as though self-love is so important, and I wish there were more people teaching our youth and young adults about loving and accepting themselves.

Not everyone comes from a background of love and support. As we grow older, we accept the love we think we deserve—even if it’s not the good type of love. Oftentimes, it’s because we don’t know any better.

It’s like a generational curse.

We see the type of love people around us give and take, and in return, we too accept the cycle of this love, whether it’s good or bad.

Reflection is important.

It’s important that we look deep within ourselves and ask: Why do we accept people mistreating us, or why do we think we don’t deserve to be truly loved? And if you are someone who loves yourself, why aren’t you spreading that love? And are you happy?

Self-deception is our greatest enemy.

Stop deceiving yourself.

Let’s not get the two confused: self-love and selfishness are not the same. Until you’re able to love yourself, you won’t know what true happiness is. No matter how many masks you wear to make it seem like you’re happy, at the end of the day, when those masks come off, look in the mirror and ask yourself…

Are you being true to who you are?

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point where he cannot distinguish the truth within him or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

Update 2024
Reading this post again, I’m reminded of how much I’ve grown. Self-love is not selfish—it’s essential. And even though I’m still processing grief and finding my way, I can see how much this journey of self-acceptance is helping me become a better person to myself and to others.

We all need to take a moment to reflect on our boundaries, our self-worth, and how we treat ourselves. In a world that’s often pulling us in so many directions, we can’t forget the importance of filling our own cup first.

Self-love is a journey, not a destination. But the more we embrace it, the more we’ll find peace, happiness, and true fulfillment.