I am already foreseeing this post stirring up some crazy inbox messages.
In my post about being polyamorous, my social media inbox has been crazy.
Let’s dive into what it means to be poly, open and a swinger.
For starters, poly is a shorthand term to describe those within the poly community.
- Poly(gamist) – a person who has more than one wife
- Poly(andry) – a woman has more than one husband
- Poly(amory) – the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved.
“polygamy is defined as marriage between one person and two or more spouses simultaneously. It exists in two main forms: polygyny, where one man is married to several women, and polyandry, where one woman is married to several men.”
Often, people think because I am polyamorous that my relationship is open, it is not.
Although an open relationship and polyamorous falls under the same heading of “ethically non-monogamous” they are not synonymous.
Polyamorous means to have multiple romantic relationships at the same time with the knowledge and consent from everyone involved.
An open relationship is a relationship where one or both partners wants to be able to engage in casual sex.
I know, they sound exactly alike, but the reality is, they are not.
My partner and I are both solo poly individuals. Meaning, that we want to seek poly relationships whether or not we’re dating anyone. We’re currently in two separation relationships at the same time and we view them equally.
I guess for most people because poly means more than one, they associate it with being in an open relationship. Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having an open relationship. However, not all polyamorous relationships are seeking to add people to their dynamic. Although we are engaged in multiple relationships, there are boundaries and expectations.
NOW SWINGERS!!! THE GOOD STUFF!!
Being a swinger is different from an open relationship and being polyamorous. Swingers are couples (and I only believe swingers are couples) who choose to engage in sex together with other couples or single people. *queue the steamy wife swap xxx movies*
Swinging is a form of social sex. The act of engaging in different kinds of sexual sharing and swapping with each other. The experience differs with every encounter and everyone involved has a clear idea of their boundaries and agreement.
Swingers are also ethical non-monogamy.
Those we all fall under the same umbrella of ethical non-monogamy we are not synonymous.
One thing we all have in common however is open honesty, communication and understanding which is essential in any form of relationship. Monogamous and Non monogamous alike.
p.s. Sexual freedom isn’t the absence of safe sex.
