Hey Life is a Journey Readers,
Happy New Year.
It’s been five months now since I was released from the hospital after being admitted for Covid Pneumonia. So much has happened in these last five months that I don’t know where to begin.
My personal life is private in certain aspects as my partners are very private. I haven’t shared much about my poly relationship on this platform mainly because I wasn’t involved with anyone other than my nesting partner (my husband) .. **queue the shock faces*
In August 2021, a friend I’ve known since 2019 decided we would start dating. This was a new journey for me because I’ve never met anyone I would like to add to my poly structure before. I’ve been on casual dates but nothing serious. Whereas, my husband has had other partners.
This new journey has been exhilarating. To share different aspects of life’s journey with this person has been interesting. Let’s just say, the school girl in me comes to life. *if you know what I mean* Lol
Many of my monogamous friends have been asking “How does it work?” “Is there jealousy involved?” “How serious is it?” and like I’ve told them, it’s a day to day thing.
A little bit about my polyamorous journey. I am considered “Kitchen table poly”, to make this more understandable because I hate using terms like husband and boyfriend, I will use those terms in this case to break things down.
Kitchen table poly means, I want everyone inside my polycule to know about each other. They aren’t always dating each other but in my case, my husband knows my boyfriend and vice versa. It’s important to me that they both get along with each other and like each other. So, sometimes we have dinner together and hang out together. My friends know about my boyfriend and if things progress further he will be considered my life partner, as my husband is.
I hope I explained that so it’s understandable.
I’ll talk more about dating and being polyamorous in a later blog post.
When I was diagnosed with covid pneumonia we had just gone “public” with our relationship. Being in the hospital was hard but the daily messages and video calls from both of my partners kept me going.
I’ll share about about our relationship and life next time.
In November, I had a slight headache and felt dizzy. Naturally, I was still recovering from being in the hospital, my breathing was 100% and I wasn’t fully healed. However what I wasn’t expecting was the doctors telling me that I was having a miscarriage. There’s been speculation that my miscarriage could be related to covid and being vaccinated. But that’s a rabbit hole we won’t go down on this blog post.
Naturally, I was a bit taken aback by this news. I wasn’t as sad as I thought I would be and maybe it’s because I have Phoenix now, or the fact that I wasn’t even expecting this to happen.
Talk about the unexpected, but the thought of having another child lingered and a plan was made. I thought this would’ve been an easy process especially since having Phoenix, but getting pregnant after being pregnant isn’t easy as I thought at all.
Still, I never gave up hope and we kept trying.
January 2022, I had my 2nd miscarriage since Phoenix was born. I was heartbroken and devastated. The week I was scheduled to hear our baby’s heartbeat, no heartbeat was found.
I was completely shattered and it honestly took a while for me to even start blogging again.
It’s never easy sharing sad journeys but they’re so many women who cry in silence because they think no one understands or can relate. I’m here to let you know that you are not alone.
Lately I’ve been sad looking at my changed body, it’s not the same compared to when I gave birth to Phoenix. This new body of mine isn’t one I recognized and I’m learning to love it. Making small attainable goals and changes I want to see.
During my mourning process, a friend recently made the choice to have an abortion and wanted to know if I was sad about their choices. I wasn’t sad about her choice, but I was sad for her. Because we both were going through the process of not having a baby whether or not we chose it.
It was an emotional journey for the both of us.
Life is a journey.
On a lighter note, I’m excited about the ITAVFoundation Gala and I hope to see you there if you’re in Philly.
